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I just want to disappear. I want the world to go back to to before I was born again again and an alternate timeline happens, one where I don't exist. It seems so much easier than being here, now, struggling. I can't help myself. I can't help the world. It feels like I'm swimming in water, pushing up and up, trying to find the surface BUT I CAN'T. Because no matter how hard I push, it's not there. I want to go away. Be a nobody. Walk around faceless because nobody knows me. Undo all the damage and all the ways I hurt others. I want to disappear. You see, under that exoskeleton that most people have, there's a raw, hurting human who's hiding away from you. One who seems so confident on the outside but who's afraid to try and become friends with you because what if you hurt them? What if you betray their confidence and trust and love? They say that only romantic partners can break your heart, but what if you've had your heart broken by your whole

The day I turned 17 I was SO ANGRY at myself because I had been reading all these books with 16 and 17 year old characters who literally saved the world at my age. I wanted to be brave like Tris. I wanted to be strong like Katniss. I wanted to be a hero like all of my fave characters. But I wasn't any of these things. I was just Fatima the girl who sits at home and watches the world burn around her while wishing she could help. I'm still not brave or strong or selfless or kind and I wish I was. And I didn't accomplish anything while I was 16. Even now I still haven't at 17. Mostly just sat at home and did my schoolwork. I'm still working on it. I'm still working on saving the world (after I finish saving my grades). Everyone's a work in progress. But if I don't do something major and save some people before 18 you can bet I'm going to go crazy. I don't know what it is with me, I just really want to change the world. And I wanna do it now, befor

Just had a long conversation with a friend that helped me open my eyes up to my own flaws and the flaws of all of us as a community. One thing I notice over and over is that we tend to gravitate towards and stay inside our comfort zones. Especially when it comes to choosing friends. There are way too many people who would rather stay with the friends they've been close to their whole lives than talk to someone new who might have new and different perspectives. It's great to have lifelong friendships. But it's dangerous when you are friends with the same group of people who look and act exactly the same as you. It prevents you from having real conversations and facing facts that are necessary and crucial to your growth and being open minded. I'm guilty of this myself. I tend to stay with the same friends that I've had for a while, but this year has taught me a lot. This year I have strayed completely out of my comfort zone and made friends with people who I nev

If you call yourself an activist or say you have progressive values or call yourself a feminist and you are not standing up for or speaking up for Palestine, then your activism or feminism needs to go. I see way too many people who are activists and who support Black Lives Matter and immigration rights and the dismantelment of systems of white supremacy in the United States but who don't give the same attention or activism to Palestine. Remember what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." So, I will be out here speaking up for the innocent Palestinian protesters who tried to exercise their right to protest peacefully. We take that right for granted here in America, but they were met with bullets and tear gas (even though I know what tear gas looks like and it doesn't give people convulsions like that). If we fight for our rights to protest peacefully here in America we should also be speaking out for the rights of th

I don't know about all the other Muslims out there, but every time I read a new hadith, a new part of the Quran I had never really understood before, or a new story about our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, it gives me a newfound appreciation for what Islam really is. For me, Islam is not just a religion. Islam is a way of life. Everything that I do everyday is determined by my religion. For example, before starting anything, I remind myself why I live and why I am doing this. I do everything that I do for God. "Say, 'Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah , Lord of the worlds.'" (Quran 6:12). As an activist, praise from other people sometimes gets to me. I try my best to focus on the constructive criticism that I get about how I can be a better person and a better activist. When I put my head on the ground five times a day, I focus on how that is the most humble act I can do to declare my devot

As we come closer to the date of the national walkouts I want to remind everyone how important it is to make sure that ALL victims of gun violence are included in our messaging or our events. Including students of color who cannot walk safely to school because of the systematic racism causing gun violence in black communities in Chicago, Baltimore, and Detroit. We can't forget to include people in Latin America and the Middle East affected by the United States' weapon sales overseas that have destabilized many governments. Having these conversations may be uncomfortable for some. But ask yourself, do you value your comfort or the lives of those affected by gun violence more? Staying in our comfort zones all the time is not a good thing. As a Muslim, but more importantly as a human I strive to have uncomfortable conversations with people and speak the truth, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. Embrace the discomfort. You will become a better person for it. There are t